Life Changing Moments

Over the weekend, our friends unexpectedly lost their newborn baby girl only 18 hours after she was born.  It was heart wrenching.  The delivery went well, so well in fact, that we heard that the delivery was so smooth and beautiful that the doctor actually thanked the parents and said, "It was a pleasure delivering your daughter."

Pictures were taken with beaming parents, siblings with proud smiles and all those tender newborn poses.  The next afternoon, the nurse came in to do routine mom and baby check ups.  She listened to the baby's heart and thought she heard a faint flutter.  They decided to check it out in the nursery.  Within minutes it was determined that she only had 3 chambers in her heart.  The doctors scrambled furiously to save her, but 4 hours later, little Maren suffered severe heart failure and peacefully passed away in her mother's arms.

 I couldn't sleep for the first few nights.  I kept imagining the mother's empty arms.  I imagined the ache of trying to recover from labor and engorgement without a newborn baby.  It was difficult to realize that this sweet couple's lives will never be the same...and there was nothing that could be said.

Romney is their home teacher and was asked if he would be the only speaker at the funeral.  I did not envy him in this task to prepare words of comfort for broken parents.  He did a phenomenal job as he paid tribute to her tiny life.  He gave an exceptional talk filled with words of comfort and hope as he focused on the Savior and the gift of resurrection.  I was in awe of him.

I am so grateful for the gospel.

I am so grateful for Romney.

***

I bring up these events not to focus on the sadness, but to say that with everything that has happened the past few days, I have learned so much and I hope I never forget.

I serve in the Relief Society Presidency.    I had never done anything like this and I was wondering if I would be able to give in a way that was sufficient.  I was quickly blown away by the number of willing women who volunteered their time, food, talents and hearts to help ease the burden of this family.  The Relief Society in action is amazing to witness.

The night of the viewing another woman from the ward and I prepared a few refreshments in an adjoining room.  As I stood there, I was overcome with a tremendous amount of love for this family and love for this other sister who was standing beside me to help with the details of the night.  I felt a true change in my heart.  It was a powerful reminder that service changes our hearts in a way that nothing else can.

I also realized that this family called upon Romney to pay tribute to their child because he had been faithfully serving them for months.  They felt the love he had for them and they knew that he was the person they could trust with such an important role. I couldn't help but ask myself, "What if he had not been there for them when times were easy?"  I suddenly knew that had he not been there for them, they would have never called on him when things were hard.

As the evening of the viewing came to a close, I was touched that one other woman from the ward stayed to help the other sister and me pack up my car with the flowers and dozens of refreshments and trays to be used for the funeral the next day.  They were both there until the very end.  I couldn't believe how powerful that was for me to realize that I was there because I had been asked to be, they were there because they wanted to be.

I hope that I will be this type of person in the future.

These kinds of events are heart wrenching and testing, but the reality is that I left with a greater resolve to enjoy each day.  I will hug my kids tighter and let them know that I love being their mom.  I will love my husband more.  I will be better to my family and friends.  I will do my best to be a kinder person who is more aware.

Life changing moments.

Never Reject an Impulse to do Something Good

We watched this short video tonight as a family and were so touched by this simple act of kindness.  A powerful reminder to never reject an impulse to do something good.

Wearing one Roller Skate

Romney is having to travel a lot for work.  This is not typical, but he has been gone a lot this month.  We are talking Tuesday - Saturday, two weeks in a row.

I always hate it when he travels.  The kids and I are all off balance.  I always feel like I am trying to do my job wearing just one roller skate.  Lots of tripping and lots of wobbling.  I am never in the mood to make dinner, homework assignments always seem longer, my patience seems short lived, disciplining is exhausting and to top it off, my nightmares that have plagued me for years seem to be in full swing when I am home alone.

I have been thinking a lot about what it would be to be a single mom.  I am lucky because at least I know that things will get back to normal.  Romney gets to come home...this is not permanent.   I think of my sister and dear friend whose husbands spent months and months deployed in the Middle East, I think of my friend who is raising 3 boys after her husband Rich passed away nearly 3 years ago and I think of several women in our ward who are raising young children by themselves.

We have some friends in Boston who are really hurting this week.  The husband Mat, lost his six year battle with cancer.  He died on Valentine's Day...of all days.  Kimberly is now a single mom with two young boys.  She is now obligated to wear just one skate and I am sure that her future seems blurry and uncertain.

I have been thinking about her all week.  My heart aches as I wonder how she is going to face homework, discipline, solitary TV watching, learning how to laugh again and mostly the task of raising her boys wearing just one skate, but she is a strong woman and I know that she is already being blessed with a strength that is not her own.

So in honor of her, I have been determined to make my "One Skate" week better.  I have made dinner almost every night, homework has been done...without tears, Annie practices have been attended, Act 1 is memorized, Thomas made Basketball practices, and somehow my nightmares escaped me.

The week is almost over.  Of course we hobbled, but we did it.

Romney gets to come home tonight.

Valentines..Not Just for Lovers

I have a great visiting teacher.  She comes.  Every month.

Yesterday she stopped by and as we talked, she asked me if I have ever had any positive experiences with a visiting teacher.  I told her about an amazing woman named Cindy who several years ago, changed my whole attitude about the monthly visits.  She came every month.  She was sincere.  She cared about me.  She became my dear friend.  I knew that I could call her anytime and sometimes I did.  I had never experienced that before Cindy.  We moved away from that ward 2 1/2 years ago and she still sends me text messages telling me that she is thinking of me.

I also asked Linda the same question, if she had ever had a really positive experience with a visiting teacher.  She said that several years before she moved to Denver, she spent some time in Wyoming.  She said it was a very difficult move.  She was there for work and did not know anyone.  She has never married.  She was alone and she felt it.

Her visiting teacher however, recognized Linda as more than assignment and on Valentine's Day, she plastered Linda's front door with hearts.  As Linda told me this story, tears streamed down her face.  She said, "You have no idea how much that meant to me."

How simple was that effort?  And yet, how huge was the impact?

I can't help but ask myself, Am I that person to anyone outside of my family?  Several years ago, a girl made a comment in church that I have never forgotten:

"Never Reject An Impulse To Do Something Good."

It is almost Valentine's Day, how about we all go spread some love....