Over the weekend, our friends unexpectedly lost their newborn baby
girl only 18 hours after she was born. It was heart wrenching. The
delivery went well, so well in fact, that we heard that the delivery
was so smooth and beautiful that the doctor actually thanked the parents
and said, "
It was a pleasure delivering your daughter."
Pictures were taken with beaming parents, siblings with
proud smiles and all those tender newborn poses. The next afternoon,
the nurse came in to do routine mom and baby check ups. She listened to the baby's heart and thought she heard a faint flutter. They decided to check
it out in the nursery. Within minutes it was determined that she only
had 3 chambers in her heart. The doctors scrambled furiously to save her, but 4 hours later, little Maren suffered
severe heart failure and peacefully passed away in her mother's arms.
I
couldn't sleep for the first few nights. I kept imagining the mother's
empty arms. I imagined the ache of trying to recover from labor and
engorgement without a newborn baby. It was difficult
to realize that this sweet couple's lives will never be the same...and
there was nothing that could be said.
Romney is their home
teacher and was asked if he would be the only speaker at the funeral. I
did not envy him in this task to prepare words of comfort for broken
parents. He did a phenomenal job as he paid tribute to her tiny life.
He gave an exceptional talk filled with words of comfort and hope as he
focused on the Savior and the gift of resurrection. I was in awe of
him.
I am so grateful for the gospel.
I am so grateful for Romney.
***
I bring up these events not to focus on the sadness,
but to say that with everything that has happened the past few days, I
have learned so much and I hope I never forget.
I serve
in the Relief Society Presidency. I had never done anything like this
and I was wondering if I would be able to give in a way that was
sufficient. I was quickly blown away by the number of willing women who
volunteered their time, food, talents and hearts to help ease the
burden of this family. The Relief Society in action is amazing to
witness.
The night of the viewing another woman from
the ward and I prepared a few refreshments in an adjoining room. As I
stood there, I was overcome with a tremendous amount of love for this
family and love for this other sister who was standing beside me to help
with the details of the night. I felt a true change in my heart. It
was a powerful reminder that service changes our hearts in a way that
nothing else can.
I also realized that this family
called upon Romney to pay tribute to their child because he had been
faithfully serving them for months. They felt the love he had for them
and they knew that he was the person they could trust with such an
important role. I couldn't help but ask myself, "
What if he had not been there for them when times were easy?" I suddenly knew that had he not been there for them, they would have never called on him when things were hard.
As the evening of the viewing came to a close, I was
touched that one other woman from the ward stayed to help the other sister and me pack
up my car with the flowers and dozens of refreshments and trays to be
used for the funeral the next day. They were both there until the very end. I
couldn't believe how powerful that was for me to realize that I was
there because I had been asked to be, they were there because they
wanted
to be.
I hope that I will be this type of person in the future.
These
kinds of events are heart wrenching and testing, but the reality is
that I left with a greater resolve to enjoy each day. I will hug my
kids tighter and let them know that I love being their mom. I will love
my husband more. I will be better to my family and friends. I will do
my best to be a kinder person who is more aware.
Life changing moments.
